H2Ouston Swims Weather Policy
Just for the record, allow me to expound on the subject of the H2O inclement weather philosophy: Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor gloom of night will stay your coach from his appointment with you at the pool. He will always assume there will be a workout and will show up regardless of the weather. Neither will your coach be deterred by fog, wind, hail, avalanche, glacier, meteor shower, plague, pestilence, eclipse, tides, earthquake or continental drift.
It is a well known fact that swim coaches are waterproof, snowproof, sleetproof, gloomproof, fogproof etc.
And since we're usually swimming indoors, Coach will assume none of these things are issues for you either.
There are, however, a few considerations for those rare times we swim outdoors...
Unfortunate for you, the dedicated swimmer, your coach is a good conductor of electricity. This means that lightning, given an opportunity, would course through his body. This would not be a good thing for his kids who are counting on him to take them to Disneyland some day.
Another complication is that you, also, are a good conductor of electricity. While your chance of feeling the rush of electrons through your body during workout is much lower than your coach’s (by virtue of his proximity to light poles—the real lightning attractant), he still has great concern for your safety and wellbeing. He would definitely not want you hit by lightning as this would not be a good thing for his kids who are counting on your dues to put them through college.
So.... in the event of lightning or thunder (have you ever seen pool signs that say “visible lightning” and “audible thunder?” — these are posted by the Department of Redundancy Department) at the pool at the beginning of our scheduled practice time, your coach will delay, or call a halt to, practice, then wait till there has been no further occurrence for 20 minutes, then restart practice.
I’ll give you my ironclad guarantee that if there is thunder and/or lightning at your house we are having peachy-keen, fully swimmable weather at the pool. Just assume “We’re swimming!” If you call coach any time before the scheduled beginning of practice the official answer will be “We’re swimming!”
In the extremely unlikely event that we have to cancel practice outright, then we’ll all go out to breakfast together.
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